Top tips for reducing the risk of will disputes among siblings

Nobody wants their kids to end up arguing over who gets what ― or who deserves what. Here’s everything you need to know to get started

Let’s be real ― no one wants to leave behind a mess for their loved ones to sort out after they’ve kicked the bucket. But surprisingly often, siblings end up at each other’s throats over Mom or Dad’s will and estate. As someone who’s seen my fair share of nasty family feuds over inheritance, I’m here to share some tips that could help you avoid that whole drama when the time comes.

Why Having a Proper Will Matters

Look, I get it ― thinking about death and what happens to your stuff isn’t exactly fun times. But not having an official will in place is just asking for trouble down the line. If you don’t spell out your wishes clearly, the law decides how your assets get divided up, and that impersonal process is ripe for creating resentment among siblings with different expectations.

And what do we mean by a proper will? Not one of those DIY kits, for a start. Working with a solicitor is the best practice for preventing your loved ones from needing to turn to a will dispute lawyer down the line, which is much better for everyone.

Open Communication is Key

One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is operating in secrecy about their will and estate plans. That’s a recipe for nasty surprises and suspicion further down the road. My advice? Pull your kids together beforehand and lay it all out ― the reasonings behind your decisions, who’s appointed as executors, that kind of thing. It’s uncomfortable, sure, but it beats World War III erupting between siblings later.

Don’t Skimp on the Details

When you’re drafting up your will, clarity is everything to avoid misunderstandings. Don’t just divide assets generally ― spell out exactly what goes to who. And pay special attention to personal items like heirloom jewelry, photos, or that ugly vase Aunt Mildred gave you that’s probably worthless but still might cause a fight.

Be upfront too about factors like outstanding debts that could impact inheritance amounts. If you’re hazy on the specifics, your kids may wrongly assume they’re getting an amount that doesn’t align with reality.

Explore Flexible Options Like Trusts

For complex estates or situations where equal split isn’t the goal, looking into setting up a trust is wise. They allow for way more nuance in terms of when/how assets transfer and can include specific conditions or protections you want in place.

An impartial professional trustee calling the shots can also remove feuding among siblings from the equation. Just make sure you really spell out your intentions clearly in structuring the trust from the get-go.

Get Professional Legal Help

This one should be obvious, but frankly too many people still try going the DIY will route online or with those cookbook will templates. In my experience, that’s just leaving the door wide open for disputes based on amateur mistakes or ambiguities.

Shell out for a qualified solicitor or estate lawyer. Sure it costs more upfront, but their expertise in dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s properly could save your family one heck of an expensive legal headache later.

The Last Resort: Mediation

Okay, so despite all precautions, siblings still sometimes lock horns over an inheritance. If heated disputes have already erupted, mediation can be a smart path to resolve things outside court.

With an impartial third party negotiator, mediation aims to get everyone’s grievances out in the open and find compromises to avoid a protracted, hugely expensive legal battle that would just further divide the family. It doesn’t always work perfectly, but it’s worth a shot before taking the scorched-earth litigation route.